50th post!

So according to blogger this is my 50th post, but i think that includes comments and stuff too.
Banishment is getting along. I've been really busy lately so i haven't been online much. My time is going by so slow I'm barely even getting the "three hour average" that they base release times on, at 84 hours i was like 9 weeks estimated or so, but I'm really behind that.
Haven't seen my operator on in a few days. I wonder what happens with that. I wonder if you can change operators while under banishment. I know she's been online (checked common groups we share) we are just on completely different schedules. It figures the one operator i found who was on the same schedule as myself and she wouldn't do it because it became a hassle for her. Everyone else was either European (at least 6 hour time difference) or they were just on a daytime schedule while I'm at work.
I'm just really frustrated that there was such a huge buildup of my second banishment then some shit happened and it's no where near as much fun as the 2 months build up should have made it.
Not like i can even tell anyone she was the only person i could talk to.
So bored with it this time, at least the first time it made it thrilling because i knew there was someone watching over me who took an active interest in my "rehabilitation" this time I'm just waiting around for nothing.
Sorry if i seem a little bitter about it.

My helmet did something odd earlier today, Someone TP'ed in on me (my fault for standing next to a building with a teleport pad in it) and after a few moments (i'm not sure how long I wasn't looking at the screen at the time so she could have been there for a few minutes before i noticed) i got a contact violation for approaching another bane. even though there were only two people in the sim, myself and this mystery visitor (i forgot her name)


Other then that It's been a lot of standing around.
on an unrelated note. God i miss dominate men. It dosen't even have to be a man, i just really miss people with a good dominate attititude. It's more then just barking out orders it's the whole persona. The few friends I had online that had "It" have all dissapeared. One in the armed forces (well He stopped talking to me long before that when I wouldn't be His girlfriend, that is unless he's horny then he'll talk to me for a little bit about stuff, get bored and go back to videogames, super dominate attitude, little boys mentality still), the other one just dropped off the face of the internet.
Everyone else i flirt/play with online just doesn't have "it". Nothing irritates me more then a guy asking if he can do something every step of the way(there is a difference between asking what a person would like, vs asking for permission to do that thing. For a dominate the first is ok, the second choice isn't.) "can I take this off." or they just completely ignore my half of the Rp (read as "my kinks".)
I've had so many RP partners that would read my profiles (which when i'm out to RP are pretty specific about what I like) and then try to take me out of bondage.
"Oh you're really into restraint? That's cool. Let me unlock all that stuff you took forever to describe to me, you must not want to wearing it since you took so much time writing all that out."
In SL it's not much better. My former Mistress who very much had "IT" in spades retired and I hardly ever talk to her anymore (which is really kind of sad for me). The few other friends I have that are dominate either have "It" but aren't into RP and will just lock stuff (which is fun too in a different way but not nearly as satisfying and requires me to put a lot more 'imagination' into it, so to speak in a fantasy 3d world)
The one friend I have who had both "IT" and could RP well, isn't interested in me and told me flat out one night she found me annoying, (it's a little more complicated then that, i'm paraphrasing the conversation) and even though I've gotten over what she said, and I get her intent even if the wording was a little poorly chosen, I doubt we'll ever get pass the "hey" stage of just saying 'Hi'

One last thing. Marine updated the RLV client again, to work off the newest version of SL but i'm a little scared to update, last thing i need is problems because my helmet doesn't recognize the new version and accuses me of cheating.
I didn't mean to turn this into a long whining post, I write stream of consciousness a lot and it sort of just flowed out. I promise the next time i post it will be positive.
-Bethany