so frustrated

i'm just so angry right now i'm having trouble keeping myself composed. this is a half sl half rl blog post. I've been having a lot of stressful stuff go on for a while now, some family issues, some school issues, job searching and just general money woe's. To top it all off i've been dealing with my car too. Where i live we have yearly inspections your car has to pass before they'll renew your license plate, mine won't pass these. so far i've spent $500 in repairs that didn't fix anything just so they could tell me what was wrong with the car(and that even though they had told me twice what was wrong with it, it was for sure this time and would be nearly $1700 with what they'd already done to it.) why did i spend $500? because the state says that is the minimum you have to have spent on repairs before they'll give you a waiver for the inspections. So i've wasted $500 not repairing my car but just them telling me what they think it is that is causing the light to be on and not letting me pass inspection. I've spent the last two days getting the run around from the states office, and my car dealer with trying to get the paperwork i need to get a waiver for my inspection. All of this finally came to an end today, So i took off work early yet again (i've wasted 3 of my five vacation days dealing with this.) today to go get it taken care of, I come to find out that the only inspection place within 20 miles is closed on Wednesdays.
So now if i want my license plates i'll have to go into work yet again late tomorrow morning.

now onto SL
i haven't even reached my halfway point in banishment yet, i'm just so angry at everything i'm not sure if i even want to do it right now. i really miss being a part of conversations. some of the most fun i have in SL is just chatting with someone about the most inane things, like building or where to find good items, or just rp experiences. this morning i logged on and there was a small party of people at the place i normally stand around(which is usually empty which is why i first started coming there and then being there as a BANE), and it made me really sad i couldn't be part of the conversation.

i'm not sure if i'm going to keep posting as much as i have been, i'm really really really stressed out right now, i'm not sure if i even want to finish doing this or not. i've got the second "Memory file" written up mostly and saved as a draft, i just haven't had the energy to finish it, let alone plan where i'm going with the story.

i don't know...being banished isn't "HARD" it's just logging on to a video game (chat program really) and not talking to anyone....it does require a great amount of willpower though to go through. Its hard to log onto a "game" about interaction and just not interact with anyone for 72 hours (which was a mistake on my part. But i figured it like this.....my longest stay in Tesscatraz was 48 hours [the max you could do at once] and if i was being banished on parole violations the sentence should be as long if not longer then the offense i got paroled on. my desire for realism bites me in the ass again.) i just feel so empty right now i'm not sure if i have the willpower for it.